Fahrradmonteur oder Friedhofsgärtner / vertrauenserweckende Spam-Arbeitsplatzangebote

Welche Karriere sollte ich einschlagen? Friedhofsgärtner, Fahrradmonteur, Aufnahmeleiter? Bin mir noch nicht ganz 100% sicher.

Diese und noch andere wunderbare Jobs wurden mir am frohen Montagmorgen per Spam-Post zugetragen.

Die Mail kommt von einem Maier Tarik, dessen E-Mail-Adresse jedoch carolinakoop@hotmail.com lautet. Rückantworten sollen an jor.fritz@aol.com gehen.Und gezeichnet ist die schöne Mail von Mia Schmitz Dienstleistungen.

Bei so vielen Leuten ohne Nennung einer Anschrift in Kombination mit unschlagbarer deutscher Grammatik und Formulierungskunst (siehe unten) kommt natürlich unmittelbar und untrüglich höchstes Vertrauen auf. 

Hier nun das unschlagbare Angebot im Klartext:

Mia Schmitz Personaldienstleistungen schreibt Ihnen jetzt, warten Sie nicht uns zu fragen, würde eine der Stellen für Sie interessant sein

Eine Stellenauflistung können Sie  unseren  Jobangebot entnehmen. 

Online-Manager/in  WM9528433335
Friseur/in  LWB-7460-02745
Feinwerkmechaniker/in  MHW3418-0253
Aufnahmeleiter/in  TPK350436753
Aufnahmeleiter/in  PMWZ-06764732
Fahrradmonteur/in  PTM515824225
Cutter/in  HKPK426636885
Friedhofsgärtner/in  ZZP-818-739
Bibliothekar/in  KLM8002-7829
Taxifahrer/in  KKPT4433312726

jor.fritz@aol.de

Mit schönen Grüßen 

Mia Schmitz Dienstleistungen

Lang lebe die Welt der Dienstleistungen!

Exercising to become a serious spammer?

Today it's been raining dumbshit irritant mails (they seem to originate in Russia if SpamCop is to be trusted). Some of them have just 4 or 5 letters, others are longer, like the wonderful example below:

wgd qyng
Received: by qklz; Tue, 22 Oct 2013 19:09:15 +0600
From: "xukp zwzr" 
Reply-To: "xukp zwzr" 
To: joggl70@t-online.de
Subject: bdq tto voak
srph
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 2013 09:06:15 -0400
lgso
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7Bit
gnj
Content-Type: text/html;
umwc

dvg nmnt jpt
vseq jls

Anyone else been getting these?
Anyone know why somebody might be sending this crap?

Phishing für den vielgeschätzten T-Online-Kontoinhaber

Soeben kam diese E-Mail:

Lieber Kontoinhaber,

Sie haben eine neue Nachricht aufmerksam.

www.t-online.de - Link führt zu http://angora.com.ua/wp-content/plugins/Aspnet/T-online.de.html

Wir schätzen Sie so viel

T-online.de Email Team 

 Bei so viel Schätzung und aufmerksam kommen einem natürlich die Tränen.

Und bei einer so blödsinnigen Übersetzung aus irgendeiner anderen Sprache atmet man als Übersetzer auf – wir sind doch nicht so ersetzbar, wie die IT-Industrie die Welt glauben lassen möchte.

Nun möchte man sich nur noch wünschen, dass bei angora.com.ua und Konsorten der Laden zugemacht wird.

Phishing vom Kammerjäger in Erlangen

Heute bekam ich wieder ein Meisterwerk deutscher Prosa – zweifellos einer genialen Übersetzungsmaschine wie Google Translate zu verdanken:

Sehr geehrter Kunde,

Wir werden Ihre E-Mail-Adresse löschen, wegen der vielen Bericht von Spam.

Sie sind Beratung, um Ihre E-Mail-Adresse in anderen reaktivieren, damit Sie E-Mails an Ihren Kontakt.

Wieder aktivieren HIER (http://www.kammerjaeger-erlangen.de/T-online.de.html)

Thnaks für Ihr Verständnis

Ist gegen diese Art von Schwachsinn wirklich kein Kraut gewachsen?

Thnaks, aber dafür habe ich absolut kein Verständnis.

Gillian and Adrian Bayford want to make you rich

The world and the internet are full of philanthropists – people who will go to any length to do good. That is so laudable!

Take, for example, Gillian and Adrian Bayford, who sent me this beautifully written e-mail today:

My wife and i won £148.6 Million Pounds last year, and we have done lot of charity donation, so we decide to give 1.5Million Pounds each to 5 lucky people this June 2013, lucky for you, your email, was given to us by google managment as one of our lucky receipants. For verification process see below Please read the article - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-19254228 Send Name, Country, Age, Occupation Phone Number for details Congratulations & Happy Celebrations in Advance, Gillian and Adrian Bayford Email: gillianandadrianbayford101@outlook.com 

 Lucky me to be one of those only 5 receipants out of the few millions surely addressed.

So good to know, too, that Google management takes such personal interest in handing out my e-mail address.

I think I'll write to Gillian and Adrian right away to collect my money.

Even though they might not be pleased when they get to know about my occupation, because I happen to be a PROFESSIONAL SPAM AND SCAM KILLER.

Verified drygs

With a possibly Norwegian touch, spam is getting more clever than ever.

Read this message that has burst past my spam killer, and you too will be ready to order verified drygs that very instant:

Verified drygs wixll help yoqu get powerful wirth your Slawatycze
Explore whole list at http://ripiamb.belhamorz.net/

Isn't this the best news ever for your slawatycze?

You bet your wixll!

Renewed onslaught of replica spam

There's good news for all those who had begun to miss replica watch spam:

REPLICA SPAM IS ALIVE AND KICKING!

Beyond that, it has added a confidential, personal note.

Here are some examples that came in during the past two weeks:

From Rita at v04010501bb8c0c083aa5@aist.go.jp

Hi,
At last I’ve found the store that sells quality replicas. All replica timepieces I ordered before looked like cheap imitations. I liked this store from the very beginning. I like their service and selection, and finally the watch I’ve received turned out to be nice, heavy and made from stainless steel.
Tom

http://crave8600.spaces.live.com

-----

Again from Rita, but this time at a6201d@ms21.hinet.net

(she calls me "Bill", hinting that we know each other, but let me assure you that that's not so)

Hello, Bill,
You won’t believe your eyes when you see my new watch. You’ll never guess it is a replica. It looks perfect and I love it. I’m sure I will be a great success with girls now, I’ve already caught some interested glances. I’ve ordered it from Prestige Replicas in case you are interested.
Dan

http://simplicial4271.spaces.live.com

-----

And, surprise surprise, from Rita once more, spamming from this address: 20dollys@india.redcatsasia.com

Hello, Julia,
I received my replica watch on Tuesday. I'm so excited! It is heavy, massive and looks so luxurious and beautiful!!! My boss has original Cartier, he thinks mine is real too, as it is impossible to tell the difference. I'm going to order from them some other models of watches too. Hugs, Angelica
uuo

http://august8860.spaces.live.com

Well, this time Rita is apparently Angelica, and the hugs are for me, Julia, even though I ain't no Julia and there ain't none in the household.

-----

The next one is from Maria (thank God for some diversity) at allen576@digitelone.com - even though one could also get the impression that it's from Robert to George!

Dear George, Today my replica watch has arrived and I'm surprised it doesn't look like a cheap imitation. My friend has advised me to buy a replica watch, so I can keep my original Rolex for special occasions and use the replica for daily wear and tear. Nobody will notice the replacement. I recommend you to do the same. Robert

http://supposition7516.spaces.live.com

My concluding thoughts:

1. Is there actually anybody who is interested in buying this shit?
2. Have any of these spammers ever earned a dime from their spam?
3. Who would be stupid enough to click on one of those links?

Oh, but here's a picture of someone who apparently did order:

Relatively unknown 2nd Lt. wants to share Iraq money

Here's the latest in spam scam from Sparkie Helen White (her nickname is Squeaky Clean, most likely), who, in her own words, is "relatively unknown" to me. Nice wording, even though I would change the adverb to "entirely" for truth's sake. By the way, the BBC News link below is actually legit.

Who knows, perhaps some reader may want to write to see what the promised vivid and coherent next message might be?

Enjoy this sincere offer:

Greetings,

I know you would be surprised to read from someone relatively unknown to you. My name is 2nd LT. SPARKIE HELEN WHITE, a member of the U.S. ARMY USARPAC Medical Team, which was deployed to Iraq at the beginning of the war in Iraq.

I would like to share some highly classified information about my personal experience and role which I played in the pursuit of my career serving
under the U.S 1st Armored which was at the fore-front of the war in Iraq.

Though, I would like to hold back certain information for security reasons for now until you have found the time to visit the BBC website stated below to
enable you have an insight into what I intend sharing with you, believing that it would be of your desired interest one-way or the other.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm

Also, could you get back to me having visited the above website to enable us discuss in a more clarifying manner to the best of your understanding. I must
say that I'm very uncomfortable sending this message to you without knowing truly if you would misconstrue the importance and decide to go public. In this
regards, I will not hold back to say that the essence of this message is strictly for mutual benefit between you and I and nothing more.

I will be vivid and coherent in my next message in this regards, meanwhile, could you send me an email confirming that you have visited the site and that
you have understood my intentions? I will await your thoughts via my personal email.

Thanks,

Best Regards

2nd LT. SPARKIE HELEN WHITE.

Neueste Trends in Spam-Betrügereien

In den letzten Tagen und Wochen erreichten mich ca. 20 Spam-E-Mails, die Varianten der bekannten Nigeria-Betrügerei sind. Sie geben meist vor, aus verschiedenen Ländern Afrikas zu kommen, haben aber deutlich erkennbare russische Wurzeln – einige Buchstaben, darunter auch die deutschen Umlaute und das ß sind durch kyrillische Buchstaben ersetzt. Das Deutsch enthält einige amüsante Stilblüten; vielleicht wurde ja mit Google Translate übersetzt – aus dem Englischen oder auch Russischen. Hier als Beispiel ein Überraschungsbriefchen von "Dr. Luka Simbalu", das mir heute in die Mailbox flatterte:

Lieber Freund,

Ich vermute das diese E-Mail eine Ьberraschung fьr Sie sein wird, aber es ist wahr.Ich bin bei einer routinen Ьberprьfung in meiner Bank (Chartered Bank von Sьd Afrika) wo ich arbeite, auf einem Konto gestoЯen, was nicht in anspruch genommen worden ist, wo derzeit $14.300,000(vierzehnmillionendreihundert US Dollar) gutgeschrieben sind.

Dieses Konto gehцrte Herrn Christian Eich, der ein Kunde in unsere Bank war,der leider verstorben ist.Damit es mir mцglich ist dieses Geld $14.300,000 inanspruch zunehmen,benцtige ich die zusammenarbeit eines Auslдndischen Partner wie Sie, der mir die erforderliche Hilfe geben kann fьr diese Inanspruchnahme.

Bitte Lesen:  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm
Ihr Anteil wдre 30% von der totalen Gange, wдhrend die restlichen 70% ist fьr mich und meine Kollegen.Wenn Sie interessiert sind, kцnnen Sie mir bitte eine E-Mail schicken, damit ich Ihnen mehr Details zukommen lassen kann.
Bitte, Sie mьssen diese Transaktion sehr vertraьlich behandeln weil die Transaktion einer DEAL ist.

Mit freundlichen GrьЯen
Dr. Luka Simbalu
Email:lukasimbalu@aim.com

Ich selbst werde von dieser wahren Überraschung zwar keinen Gebrauch machen, stelle das Angebot aber großzügig allen Lesern zur Verfügung. Vielleicht fühlt sich ja jemand bemüßigt, die Hand nach seinem Anteil an den 14,3 Millionen US-Dollar auf dem leider ach so verwaisten Konto auszustrecken. Außerdem kann es nicht schaden, wenn das E-Mail-Konto des guten Dr. Simbalu ein bisschen zugemüllt wird.

Short ghazal honoring spam

I remember a time long ago when spam
was something one wouldn’t eat.

Since those good old days spam
has become something other than fatty meat.

Every day now I find loads of spam
in my mailbox. Oh what a treat!

– Felix Morgenstern (© 2008)

Written in response to Mad Kane's Email Hell invitation for limericks and haikus about that lovely new age scourge – spam. Well, I have to sheepishly admit that I neither have limerick nor haiku to offer but something more similar to a very short ghazal.

A spammer ...

has usurped BlogFriday's "clever" theme, spamming it with what looks like over 100 "contributions" from such fanciful non-entities as hamilten, osvald, ulemah, salaliah, nigiel, pavelik, olujimi, jeriel, melodie, oxleigh, udiyah, special, shauna, frytzi, rozeana, eiddwyna, meygyn, germayn, etc.

What a collection of angels! They all seem to have one thing in common – they refer to pages hosted by www.freewebs.com that advertise the usual spammer crap or offer downloads that will most likely do wonderful things to people's PCs.

The proper designation for the mastermind behind this kind of attack refers to a specific opening in a lower body part.

Microsoft Lottery (?)

We all know that Bill Gates is one of the shrewdest people on earth when it comes to sniffing a buck against the wind. It is also known that he's a great philantropist, redistributing oodles of his software user-earned $$$ to cancer research, etc.

What's little known is that he's gone senile and started the Microsoft E-Games Promotion Award, of which I am a lucky consolation prize winner, as I've been informed by e-mail this very morning. Yahoo! I've been approved to win an incredible 500,000 £.

All I need to do to collect is send all my essential data, including my mobile phone no. and a copy of an ID, to Bill Gates' trusted friend and caretaker Paulson Depp at the following highly official e-mail address:

mr.paulsondeppclaimmanager@hotmail.com

I'm sure Mr. Gates' generosity doesn't stop with me. I think that you, dear reader, also have the best chances of having won this award and should claim it just like me. So, despite all the severe warnings below, I've decided to let you in on this. Here's the text of the e-mail with all the details on how to go about cashing in:

Microsoft E-Games Promotion Award
20 Craven Park Harlesden
London NW10,
United kingdom.
Registered No: N.I 24284
***************************
Dear Consolation Prize,

CONSOLATION PRICE WINNING NOTICE

This is to inform you that you email have won a prize money of(500,000.00)Five Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds Sterling for the month of March,2008 E-game promotion Award which is organized by Microsoft Windows Inc. Your email address attached to the ticket winning number:MCPA09788 that drew the lucky winning number, which consequently won the Microsoft E-games promotion Award in the second category,in four parts.You have been approved for a payment of 500,000.00 Great British Pounds Sterling (FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND GREAT BRITISH POUNDS) in cash credited to file reference number:MIC/WS68768P/68. This is from a total cash prize of FIVE MILLION GREAT BRITISH POUNDS Shared among the ten international winners that won the second categories.All participants were selected through a Multi international computer ballot system drawn from 98,000(Ninety eight thousand) names of email users around the world,as part of our international promotion programme.Due to mixed up of some names and addresses, we ask that you keep this award personal, till your claims has been processed and your funds remitted to you. This is part of our security measures to avoid double claiming or unwarrantedtaking advantage of the situation by other participants or impersonators.
****************************
PAYMENT OF PRIZE AND CLAIM
****************************
You are to contact this office for further instruction on how to claim your prize with this information.
WINNING INFO:
Amount Won:500,000.00 Great Britain Pounds Sterling.
Batch Number: 0094/AM6880
Winning Number: MCPA09788
Reference Number: MIC/WS68768P/68
****************************
CLAIM DEPARTMENT OFFICE
****************************
Claims Manager: Mr Paulson Depp
Office via Email: mr.paulsondeppclaimmanager@hotmail.com
Office Contact Number + 44-704-572-5696
Winners Care Line : + 44-703-184-6783

Note: The Verification and Claims form should be filled and sent to the e-games promo award manager who will immediately commerce process to facilitate the transfer of your fund to you. For security reason you are advice to keep your winning information confidential till your won price is processed andtransferred to you. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program. Please be warned.
***************************************************************
WINNER'S VERIFICATION FORM AND CLAIM'S INFORMATION
**************************************************
First Name.:
Middle Name.:
Last Name.:
Gender.:
Month Of Birth.:
Age.:
Marital Status.:
Nationality.:
Religion.:
Occupation.:
Address 1.:
Address 2.:
City.:
Country.:
State/Province.:
Zip Code.:
Mobile phone No.:
House Phone No.:
Fax No.:
Email Address.:
WINNING INFORMATION
Batch Number.:
Number.:
Reference Number.:
A Scanned copy of a valid identification card should also be attached (either an International passport or Driver's License) and send with the listed information for claims of your won prize.
*************************************************************
Winners Shall be paid in accordance with his/her Settlement Centre.Microsoft E-games Promotion Prize must be claimed no later than 15 days from date of Draw Notification,that is after the Draw date in which Prize was won.Any prize not claimed within this period will be forfeited.Once again congratulations from the management of the Microsoft E-games Promotion on your consolation price winning,we hope that you will use the winning for good cause.

Congratulations!! once again.
Yours in service,
MR. Silviu Hotaran
(General Manager Europe)
POWERED BY MICROSOFT WINDOWS.
***************************************************************
CONFIDENTIALITY STATEMENT: The document accompanying this transmission may contain confidential health information that is legally privileged.This information is intended only for the use of the individual or entity mail address above.The authorized recipient of this information is prohibited from disclosing this information to any other party unless required to do so by law or regulation and is required to destroy the information after its stated need has been fulfilled.If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure,copying,distribution, or action taken in reliance on the contents of these document is strictly prohibited.If you have received this information in error,please notify the sender immediately and arrange for the return or destruction of these document.

©2008 Microsoft Corporation.All rights reserved.

Kristina schätzt die Seele des Mannes

Zuvor war es Maria, nun ist es Kristina, die unter Millionen von unangefordert angeschriebenen Männern, mit denen sie viele gemeinsame Interessen und Hobbys hat, den ihres Lebens (?) zu finden hofft. Ein Bildchen ist auch gleich dabei (siehe unten). Hier nun ihre Worte, die dem sterilen Deutschen neues Leben bezüglich Grammatik, Rechtschreibung und Formulierung einhauchen:

Hallo!
Mein Name ist Kristina Ich hab' mich vor kurzem in diesem Website regestriert, um einen Mann fuer gute Beziehungen kennenzulehrnen.
Ich hab' ihres Info-Profil aufmerksam gelesen, und meine, dass Sie sehr interessanter Mann sind.
Ich hab' gewagt Ihnen zu schreiben, um Ihnen kennenzulehrnen. Ich hoffe, dass Sie mir antworten?))
Ich finde, dass wir viele gemeinsame Interessen und Hobbys haben. Die Schoenheit des Mannes ist fuer mich nichtwichtig.
Ich schaetze die Seele des Mannes, seine Meinung auf Leben, Lebensprioritaeten. Ich hab zu viel im Leben gesehen und kann meinen Mann gluecklich machen. Ich weiss nicht, ob Sie mir antworten oder nicht! Warum wuerden wir nicht reskieren? Nicht wahr? Ich denke, dass wir alle Chance benutzen muessen, um unseres Glueck zu finden. Das Leben ist zu kurz, um nur dafuer zu leben, dass nachzudenken und zu traemen.
Ich will nicht zu vielueber mich jetzt schreiben. Ich erzaehle kurz, wer ich bin. Ich arbeite, um bequem zu leben. Ich hab' eine akademische Bildung, und ich bin ziemlich intelegent. Es fehlt mir nur an einen Lieblingsmann.
Ich hab' viele Interessen - Musik, Lesen, Buecher, Computer, Filmkunst, Unterhaltung, Sport und viele anderen Sachen, die meines Leben wunderbar machen. Ich mag attraktive Kleidung und Sachen.
Ich kann nicht sagen, dass ich viele Freunden und Freundinnen von mir habe. Ich kenne viele Leute und ich bin sehr kritisch fuer Kommilitonnen. Freund von mir ist ein Mensch, der alle Schwirigkeiten mit mir ueberlebt. Ich bin gluecklich, dass ich solche guten Kommilitonnen hab'. Ich bin sehr kontaktfreudig, deswegen hab' ich viele Bekannten, mit dennen ich gute Beziehungen hab'. Meine Freunden sagen, dass ich ein huebsches, gutes, charmantes und geselliges Maedchen bin. Es waere alles) Jetzt entscheiden Sie, ob Sie mir schreiben oder nicht) Aber: Schreiben Sie mir bitte meine e-mail: angkristideu@gmail.com

Folgendes wäre noch anzufügen: Kristinas E-Mail kam gar nicht von ihr, sondern von einer Rena Huyhn mit der Adresse tvtdhqi@bmasf.com, und war auch gar nicht an mich adressiert. Da kommt doch auf Anhieb eine Menge Vertrauen zur potenziellen zukünftigen Lebenspartnerin auf!

Can-Spam Act Compliant Spammers

Among the lovely e-mails that fluttered into my mailbox today was this one from one robbie titled "Quality loans for americans":

Hello, Your refinance application has been accepted.
We are ready to give you a loan.
There is no obligation and this is a FREE quote
(o)Debt Consolidation.
(o)Refinancing.
(o)Second Mortgage.
(o)Equity Line of Credit.
(o)First Purchase.
Visit here for more information Expect to be contacted within 24 Hours.
http://flamizxmhingo.com

As usual, I was surprised to hear that my application had been accepted even though I had never submitted any. Well, that may be attributed to overzealous salesmanship. (These people always pretend that you've already guarded swine with them.)

Out of curiosity I visited the site referenced to find out why exactly some guys are so generously willing to lend me money based on a non-existent application.

There's no conclusive answer. These people are simply too good!

Best of all: They are fully compliant with the Can-Spam Act 0f 2003!

Other graphics prove their trustworthiness beyond the shadow of a doubt:



The only thing that's missing: an actual address.

If they had one, some lawyers and the police might come knocking ... for a loan or whatever.

Randi's heart-rending plea

Randi wrote today! Do I know Randi? I don't think so. But she's taking a particular interest in me, and she's a nice pretty girl. From Russia no less! Oh joy, oh how I'm flattered!

Her e-mail address: fsfiuqafchv@email.ru

Her message:

Do not ignore me please,
I found your email somewhere and now decided to write you.
Let me know if you do not mind. If you want I can send you some pictures of me.
I am a nice pretty girl. Don't reply to this email.
Email me direclty at drandi034@bestvisiongroup.info

Finally rich!!!

Like everybody else, I love that early morning mail that tells me I've won in a lottery I never knew about. It restores my faith in that benevolent superior being who enters all the good people in His/Her various lotteries!

Received from: mom2tripletts@cox.net

Purported to be from: UK LOTTERY GAME

Message:

You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £516,778.00 (Five hundred and Sixteen thousand,seven hundred and seventy eight pounds sterling only)
To file for your claim, please kindly provide the following informations and send it to our Fiduciary Agent who shall clear you as a winner.
(1)FULL NAMES (2)DATE OF BIRTH(3)SEX (4)MARITAL STATUS(5)CONTACT ADDRESS (6)PHONE NUMBERS(7)OCCUPATION
Mr Peter Taylor(CLAIMS AGENT)
Email:agentpetertaylor12@yahoo.co.uk
Upon receipt of the duly requested datas,he shall send to you the contact information of the paying Office.
Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Lucy Baines
ONLINE SUPERVISOR

Thanks so much, Agent Peter and Mrs. Baines! Also for your kind plea for two new urgently needed English plurals (informations and datas). That was long overdue. Not to mention thanks for the biblical therefore leading into this stroke of pure luck.

PS:
I wonder what would happen if you responded to agentpetertaylor12@yahoo.co.uk (every agent would be proud to have such an official-looking e-mail address).

I can only surmise that

1. you might get a friendly e-mail asking you for a transfer of funds as up-front processing fees before you receive the millions you've won, or
2. you might get tons more of lovely offers as your e-mail address has been verified as being functional and spam-worthy.
   

Buy China Fruit!!!

Another spam posting for today.

These unsolicited commercial messages probably came from loving Russian hands. (I read the other day that Russian spammers now mainly go for stock market tips and pirated software because those are most lucrative fields.)

Sender: laa@lcp2.net
Subject: As for manufacturing illegal liquour, many people were doing that at that time

Message:

CHFR Continues To Expand With 8 New Distributors! UP 9.6%!

China Fruits Corporation
Symbol: CHFR
Price: $0.34 UP 9.6%

CHFR, a Chinese orange supplier who hit the market by storm due to the
devastated US Orange Crops, has now hit the news again with 8 new
distributors for oranges and orange products. This company is HOT, read
the news and get on CHFR first thing Tuesday!

A second later, this strong buy recommendation was reinforced:

Sender: asunc@bredband.net
Subject: Although I appreciate and respect your perspective, I could not possibly disagree with you more.

Picture message (file name of pic is dishonestly.gif - ain't that something):

Come on, everybody: Get on the phone with your stock broker right now and order a bunch of CHFR. Let's make sure that our Russian benefactors earn some serious money.

Web Noise / Internetrauschen

Neues Spam-Phänomen?

Seit einigen Tagen bekomme ich Spam, der als Reportage über Terroranschläge oder dgl. daherkommt und zum Schluss auf eine Webseite verweist. Heute kam schon von

info_@presse.mdwp.de

das folgende Prachtstück kreativer, wenn auch grammatikalisch und stilistisch nicht ganz hasenreiner Prosa:

Die Berliner U-Bahn Mitarbeiter fanden die Reste eines unbekannten Flugkoerpers.
Interessant findet man auch die Ermittlung von moeglichen Gruenden des Unwohlseins einiger U-Bahn Angestellten. Nach etlichen Inspektionen wurde ein Fremdkoerper gefunden. Wie Wissenschaftler behaupten, koennte der Koerper so gross wie ein Bus sein. Es wurde auch vermutet, er haette seltsame Strahlen aussenden koennen und das wegen rund um dem Rumpf gebildeter "Totzone".
Naeheres dazu unter http://geocities.com/MarkabElsie7932

Die Webseite gibt es nicht. Normalerweise ist ja absolut davon abzuraten, auf Links zu klicken, die in Spam enthalten sind, doch schien mir diese Adresse beim Gratis-Hoster Geocities unverdächtig genug, um es zu auszuprobieren.

Möglicherweise hat Geocities bereits auf Spam-Complaints zu dieser Seite reagiert und sie entfernt.

Insgesamt frage ich mich aber, was diese Art von Spam eigentlich für Ziele verfolgt. Denkbar wären:

• Stören einfach um des Störens willen. Daraus scheinen manche Leute eine ungeheure, wenn auch nicht auf Anhieb nachvollziehbare Befriedigung zu schöpfen.
• Aufmerksamkeitshascherei. Das ist wie bei einem kleinen Kind, das ignoriert wird und sich deshalb durch Danebenbenimm Aufmerksamkeit erzwingt. Allerdings ist die Aufmerksamkeit in diesem Falle ausschließlich anonym. Das ist jammerschade!
  
• Gekicher des Spammers hinter vorgehaltener Hand über den Ärger bzw. die Fragezeichen, den bzw. die seine "Messages" auslösen. Das könnte man in etwa vergleichen mit dem Kunstsammler, der sich an einem gestohlenen Gemälde befriedigt, das er in seinem Keller aufhängt und das niemand sonst zu sehen bekommen darf.
• Web Noise / Internetrauschen. Sowas scheint es tatsächlich zu geben. Allerdings dürfte es wohl, im Gegensatz zum Rauschen beim Funkempfang, nicht durch beiläufige Störungen entstehen. Da braucht es schon einen realen menschlichen Anstoß.
  

Mit Sicherheit lässt sich nur eines sagen: dieses Phänomen wird – wie aller Spam – durch gestörtes Verhalten ausgelöst.

Nigeria comes to UK

Peter Fischer wants to give away millions

This lovely e-mail reached me today under the subject Hello Beloved Friend:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please permit me to introduce myself to you. I am PETER FISCHER, An Accountant in London, United Kingdom. I got your contact from the British Council, and I have decided to contact you so that we can carry out this mutually beneficial business transaction.
My late Client (A National of your COUNTRY) until his death aboard an AERO FLIGHT 801 in 2001 deposited a total of USD$5.5M with THAMES BANK, UNITED KINGDOM.
He gave me the custody of the deposit documents, and as such entrusted me with the Legal Rights to transfer and execute this deposit to any Next of Kin after his demise.
I have since tried to locate any Next of Kin without success, hence I decided to contact you so that you can rightfully stand as the next of kin to inherit the deposited sum by virtue of the fact you share the same SURNAME as my late CLIENT.
I am writing you confidentialy because you will be able to claim this DEPOSIT because you have the same SURNAME as my Late CLIENT.
You will be entitled to 30% of the total sum should you be willing to assist me in this business transaction, 10% will be earmarked for taxation expense and I will get the remaining 60%.
I will prepare a formal agreement to guide us in this transaction for accountability purpose.
Please reply to my private email:
peter_fischer44@yahoo.co.uk

Yours truly, PETER FISCHER
42 Campshill Road, London
United Kingdom.
Tel: + 44 793 997 8490
Email: peter_fischer44@yahoo.co.uk

• Good to know I'm known to the British Council.
• Nigerian scam has come a long way. At least the grammar and spelling in this one are OK. Congrats, Peter, you seem to have gone to school.
• Thanks for your special, individual confidence in me, Peter, which I probably only share with the millions of other SURNAMES you sent this mail to.
• Sorry to hear about your LATE client. I'm sure he had the confidence in you that you doubtlessly deserve.
• At this point, I cannot make use of your offer, Peter. But maybe lots of other potential and fully confidential business partners will send you e-mail and give you calls as I've decided to make this public.

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